Christian Momma

Moments to Remember

2012-01-28T01:11:00.001-05:00

A few weeks ago, Bubba did a unit on insects. Part of the unit was to get an ant farm. Well Mommy didn’t send away for the ants early enough so we didn’t have them that week. But they arrived this past week and the boys have been watching them make tunnels and have helped to keep the ants fed! It’s as close as they are getting to a pet for now so I’m glad they are having such fun!

Moments to Remember was developed as a simple way to look back on our week as homeschoolers and find photos that encompass the memories we want to remember. The week may have been tough, there may have been more bumps than smiles, but in the end these are the moments that keep us going, the ones we need to remember.

MFW K: Horse and Cow

2012-01-27T01:25:00.000-05:00

We did 2 lessons this week because I couldn’t pull together enough extra stuff for Bubba not to be bored. And it was a good week not to have any extra to do because he kinda fell apart at the seams this week while doing his work.

It’s a cow in case you were wondering

He told me this week that he was sick of these cut and paste sheets {not sure what we’re going to do about it yet}

Some of the farm books we read this week

It’s a horse with lots of food in his tummy.

Hopefully we’ll be back to the fun stuff next week

This post is linked to Homeschool Highlights in MFW at 2 ladybugs and a lizard

Some thoughts on homeschooling my preschooler

2012-01-22T15:41:00.001-05:00

My boys and I are about two thirds of the way through our first year of homeschooling. I’ve shared some of my journey of homeschooling a gifted, special needs child. And the struggle continues as I try to keep up with his skills and interests without pushing too hard. We still don’t have things completely figured out but that’s okay with me there’s still time. My preschooler is a little different. I wouldn’t say that he’s a gifted child but he is stronger in a few areas than some of his peers.

I realized recently that I’d forgotten about my little man a bit in the course of planning for big brother. I had originally envisioned really relaxed and fun activities Chubba. I planned to work through the books and activities in Before Five in a Row and take some time to really enjoy some quality stories. Well, he has had other plans! Whenever I pull out the book or say that we’re going to work on a story for the week I can see the disappointment in his eyes.

He doesn’t really enjoy the story units as much as I’d hoped. He’s good for a day and then he wants to get back to business. He only wants to work on his letters or counting. It’s been a bit challenging for me to adjust to his interests and things as I include him in our school day. He wants so much to be like his big brother than I worry he is missing out on some fun.

After we finished a third week of story units I realized that something needed to change. So I came up with a solution that I think will work for us both: I’m adding in the story units to the letter units. Each week we just have a few extra activities based on the book I choose.

Carissa over at 1+1+1=1 recently posted about some changes she’d making to her lessons because her daughter is at a different place than her boys were at that age. She talked about following the child’s lead. I guess that’s what I’ll be doing with Chubba. Sometimes our children just get a bit ahead of where we want them to be and that’s ok. Momma just needs to go with the flow sometimes.

God came to my house {dressed as the Orkin man} Part 3

2012-01-17T00:19:00.000-05:00

If you are just joining this series please take some time to read part one and part two . . .

On December 30th I wasn’t supposed to be home. I had planned to take my boys to Busch Gardens but ended up staying home so my mom could get to a doctor’s appointment. That day I had made plans to be away from home but God had other plans. He was planning to come to my house that day.

There was a knock at the door and I answered. Standing there was an Orkin man, his name was Israel. He had been across the street at a neighbor’s house to inspect it but no one was home. He just needed someone to sign saying that he was there so that he could get paid for the job. He wanted to know if I’d be willing to sign for him. I must admit that I don’t know my neighbors. I don’t live in a very nice neighborhood so I don’t socialize much. I also do like to sign things that have nothing to do with me.

“Help him. Sign the forms.”

I obeyed. And then he looked at me and asked if I went to church. I told him yes. And then he spoke words that could only be from the Father. He looked right at me and ~~asked~~ said, “You’ve been in church ever since you were little.” I swallowed hard and said yes. And then He spoke:

Everything that was prophesied then will come to pass in 2012. This is the year that everything will fall into place. Everything with your church, supporting your pastor. Just draw near to Him and it will all fall into place. Trust Him. Everything that you are going through, all the mess in your life has been for this purpose. You will be able to sit with a young woman, whose going through the same things you are and understand. You will cry together. You’ll be able to tell her all that you went through and how He brought you out. Hold on to Him. Happy New Year, God Bless.

He turned and walked away. Now I’m telling you that I saw no Orkin truck or car or van in my driveway or across the street. And that man seemed to disappear when the words God Bless left his lips. It took me only a moment to realize that God had just come to my house. I didn’t tell you that I had been crying out to God to show Himself to me. To let me have a hands on experience with Him face to face. I had been asking for a clear sign for my future.

My cousin had been by a few days before hand and left this message in my heart: God says the drought is over. 2012 will be a season of harvest.I had also been praying about my field placement for school. I have to work for 5 semesters at a social work location for my degree. God has shown me that I would be involved with adoptions and have my own agency. After my own abortion I began to feel pulled to minister to young girls dealing with unexpected pregnancies. I couldn’t decided between working at an adoption agency or a crisis pregnancy center. I had all these questions about my life and what my next steps would be. On December 30th God came to my house and just like the woman at the well, He told me my sins but He also spoke hope and love to my soul. And He did it in the form of an Orkin man.

I want to thank you all for reading my story. If I’m completely honest it was very difficult for me to share. But in the spirit of writing naked I had to share it. I’m sure there are those that think that I’m a hypocrite or not a real Christian because of some of my choices in the past 2 years. I’m sure there are those that won’t read my blog anymore but God wanted me to share my story and I must be obedient.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

Testimony Tuesday {Come see a man}

Letter G

2012-01-15T12:54:00.000-05:00

Chubba is 39 months old

This week was a lot of fun for Chubba. He got to work on the letter G {which just happens to be the first letter of his name}

Lacing Cards are always a hit!

As are magnet pages

And playdough mats {although he gave up on the lowercase g and just slapped a big pancake on there}

He did his first color by number page and did a great job

I almost didn’t get these pictures of the puzzle because he was soo fast

Gluing the gumballs onto the machine

We’re still plugging away at tracing

He is getting so good with the scissors now!

{non G related activity} Chubba drew his first people this week during Sunday School. It’s me and him playing ball

Matching up the letters

See this face it means “I’m done mommy and I’m bored. I need something else to do” I see it quite often.

Matching colors

Size sequencing: as always the end always gets a little tricky

We made a goat out of the letter G {Bubba decided to try the beard on}

MFW K: Goat

2012-01-13T00:42:00.000-05:00

This week we talked about goats and sacrifices and Jesus. For the past few weeks we’ve been reading in the new testament and I’ve watched as Bubba struggled to make sense of the “why” behind Jesus’ ministry on earth. It made for some very interesting conversations this week.

We are working on following directions. Bubba usually wants to just plowed through his work but he makes simple mistakes. These new assignments are helping him to practice slowing down.

I told him that he could either do a goat or Jesus on the cross for this page. He secretly worked on this and then with a beaming smile showed me the pictures.

He loved working with geo bands during math this week

We worked on some activities from a Kindergarten Farm Fun Kit.

The first thing was Tic Tac Toe. Mommy won and he did his best to take it like a man.

Then we had fun with a graphing game. Trying to guess which animal would win and cheering on our favorite.

And Chubba even joined in on the fun!

The horse was the winner!

Bubba had a lot of fun doing this word search!

He did well writing the color words and making this book {if you hadn’t noticed dot markers were big hit this week}

He also learned about tally marks this week. He was a little bummed he didn’t get to make a group of 5

This post is linked to Homeschool Highlights in MFW at 2 ladybugs and a lizard

God came to my house {dressed as an Orkin man} Part 2

2012-01-10T00:00:00.000-05:00

If you haven’t read part one yet please do before you read this post.

There’s a funny thing about my time lost in the wilderness. I knew that it wasn’t where I was supposed to be. I always felt out of place. There was always a little tug on my heart calling me back home. For 10 years the tug on heart pulled me out of some serious dark places. For 10 years the call of my name rang loudly in my heart. And then the next year as I watched my daddy fight for his life and then slowly die from cancer the pull and the voice lessened.

One day, almost a year later, I watched my dad being carried out of the house {against his will} and driven to a hospital where he would die a month later. On that day God spoke to my heart and said “He won’t be back.” And then after that there was silence. And I stopped feeling that pull on my heart. For the next 18 months I floundered, lost and confused. Falling into “whatevers” with guys that I couldn’t stand. Falling into bed with them and feeling disgusted with myself afterward. Ending things, vowing never to fall again only to find myself in the same mess the next time. I tell you each time it was worse.

I remember crying out to God and crying begging for forgiveness and strength. It didn’t work. I felt all alone like my prayers were unheard. And then I hit rock bottom. On Labor Day three plus signs screamed at me all my sins of the past years. I was pregnant and father was not my husband. It was someone that was manipulative and scheming and someone that I just couldn’t get away from no matter how hard I tried.

September 16th rolled around and I walked into Planned Parenthood and a told the lady at the desk that I was there for an abortion. I signed the forms, gave them the $500, and closed my eyes during the ultrasound. And then I swallowed a few pills and went home. The next day I took a few more and then Sunday morning around 330am my baby slipped out of me. I rolled the baby up into my soaked pad, wrapped it in a plastic bag and put it outside in the trash. This was my rock bottom.

A few weeks later dreamed of my daddy. He was holding a baby wrapped up in a pink blanket. He smiled at me and told me “She’s fine! We’ll be waiting for you.” I named her Olivia. The next day I got up and went through my day with a heavy heart. My daddy really wanted a granddaughter. I desperately wanted a little girl of my own. God even showed me that I would have her and be married and happy. I felt like I messed it all up.

“I’m here. I love you. I forgive you. Come home.”

I heard those words spoken to my heart. I closed my eyes and just let His love wash over me. I was found, my strength was renewed and I was on my way to being made whole.

I thought for so long that God had abandoned me. That I was so far gone that I was not redeemable. But that day He spoke life to my soul and I rediscovered my path.

Stay tuned next Tuesday for the final installment of this series.

Testimony Tuesday {Come see a man}

What if Believers acted more like Beliebers?

2012-01-09T00:00:00.000-05:00

Just in case you don't know who this cutie is, his name is Justin Bieber. He sings, dances, plays the drums, guitar and piano. And young girls cry and faint when they see him. My boys like one of his songs and have been asking to hear it over and over this last week or so. {I blame my brother and nephew for this}. They even asked to watch his movie “Never Say Never”. I’ll go ahead and admit that I enjoyed the movie and actually like some of his music.

Now this post is not really about Justin Bieber so just bear with me because I promise I have an important point to make. The movie showed his rise to fame. The young man has worked very hard to get to where he is and is very talented. I was impressed with his family, especially his mom. She goes everywhere with him and maintains her role as a mom to this teen star. There was a scene in the movie where he was sick and his mom was praying over him for healing. I’ve seen a few interviews where he spoke about the importance of keeping God first in his life and not letting himself get bigger than God. I could appreciate that. I have no idea how recent those interviews were or if he still holds to those values. But those words of his has stuck with me for a few days.

It got me wondering, what if we as Believers took a few notes and tips from Beliebers {Justin’s fans}? What if we waited for hours and hours to see Him. What if we stood in services and concerts screaming “Jesus, Jesus!” What if we took the hundreds of dollars that some pay to see Mr. Bieber and put it into the offering plate at church or gave to someone in need?

What if we spent hours and hours pouring over every fact or piece of information that we could find on God like people do for Justin? What if God had the most YouTube visits and Twitter followers? What if we all sang songs of praise to God the way they sing along with Justin at a concert?

Justin puts on a good show. He dances, and sings, and plays and hams it up really nice for the ladies. When he says scream the response is deafening. When the boy waves his hands in the air millions of people follow. When he says “I love you” people hit the floor. Why can’t we receive God’s love like that or better yet why don’t we return it? Why don’t we raise our hands and voices to God like at a Justin Bieber Concert?

I don’t mean to put the young man down, he is nice on the eyes and very talented. But he has never raised someone from the dead and he most definitely has not died for our sins. Look at all that the world is doing for Justin Bieber, certainly we can do much better for Jesus!

Monopoly

2012-01-07T00:50:00.000-05:00

For Christmas this year I got Bubba the game Monopoly Jr. He found my Monopoly game when he moved and was so fascinated by it I had to get him one he could play. One afternoon we got all setup and Chubba woke from his nap just in time to play. It was fun watching them play while I was the banker. They lasted about an hour before they decided to quit and get a snack.

These are the moments I live for when they are fighting and driving me crazy. They had fun and were in full competition mode. “Gimme my money!” and “I’ve got more booths than you do!” And all in good fun,

BFIAR: Goodnight Moon

2012-01-06T00:35:00.001-05:00

Chubba is 39 months old

We did a BFIAR unit this week (much to Chubba’s chagrin). We had some fun with Goodnight Moon.

We did some activities from a preschool pack from Homeschool Creations:

Working on syllables

Pairs vs. Singles

We had fun counting stars in the sky

Working on Rhyming Words, and he’s actually getting much better

Working on beginning sounds. I thought this would be too hard for him but he blew through each one with ease

Wet/Dry chalk drawings from Story Stretchers

We practiced putting Elmo down for a nap

And we even tiptoed out the door so we wouldn’t wake up the baby

Later he pretended to nap too

We had fun telling Goldilocks and the Three Bears using our story props from Me & Marie Learning

Working on Pattern Blocks

And lacing beads

MFW K: Insects

2012-01-06T00:12:00.001-05:00

This week we did a unit on Insects: “I am a wise child, so I work hard.” We were supposed to have an ant farm to go with this unit but I didn’t send off for it in time. Whenever it gets here we’ll get it set up and I share about the experience.

I really like these new sheets in the MFW student pack. Some of the words are different than the ones we are working on with Ordinary Parents so it’s nice to see that he’s able to handle it.

Bubba had fun making bugs with our dot markers!

Usually I don’t share about our math lessons, but this week we made a pictograph. The topic was favorite winter activities. I was very surprised at the amount of snow activities that he added (living in FL he’s never seen snow before). He wants to do one for the summer too!

We read a few books this week. Lots of Little Red Hen stories. He LOVES The Little Red Hen Makes a Pizza (and I do mean LOVES, I had to hide the book for a while after reading it daily for 3 months). And we had a good conversation after reading the Faith Tales version.

We are still working through Handwriting without Tears and his handwriting is getting really good!

For some art fun Bubba painted some ladybugs

And then he decided he needed to draw another one with his crayons. This one is in a fruit tree eating the bugs that are on the leaves. I believe he drew one in it’s tummy.

As always our Ant Lapbook was a lot of fun!

This post is linked to Homeschool Highlights in MFW at Discover Their Gifts

I love me some Chubba!

2012-01-05T00:00:00.002-05:00

That little man up there holds a special place in heart. He is my second born son, my surprise baby! I have to admit that I was extremely depressed for 4 months when I found out I was pregnant with him. But he has spent most of his 3 years on earth making me laugh! He is so silly and often time his jokes aren’t even understandable but his infectious laughter sucks you right in.

He’s my little quiet soul. And introvert just like his mommy. He’s a sweetie pie. But he has a mean streak too (just like his mommy). Don’t let those dimples and eyelashes fool you, he can be a bully!

This boy is ALL BOY! He knows how to be loud and crazy. He loves to make a mess (just check out that ice cream). At the same time he is a very caring boy. If I’m having a bad day he is always there offering hugs and kisses. When I have migraines or back spasms he is more than willing to kiss it and make it better. I couldn’t imagine my life without this sweet little boy.

In the past few months I’ve noticed a light go own in his heart. He loves hearing about God, reading the bible and praying. He tries so hard to be big like his brother and I love him for it. I cannot wait to see the man that he grows into. I’m already so proud of him!

Linking up with MOB Society Let’s Hear It For The Boys!

God came to my house {dressed as the Orkin Man} Part 1

2012-01-03T00:08:00.002-05:00

On December 30st I posted this on my personal Facebook page:

God just sent a messenger to my house. He spoke to the dark places in my heart and to the secret questions in my soul. God was just here and he came as the Orkin man.

But I should back up a bit. The last few years have been very trying for me. And I’m not talking about the obvious stuff like my daddy dying from cancer, his mom dying from cancer, my husband checking out and walking out of our marriage, or struggling through law school as a single mom of two. I’m not even talking about the challenges of having a son with SPD. I’m not talking about the year or two of verbal abuse that I suffered during my marriage, the never ending child support and divorce battles. And I’m not talking about the 2 3 inappropriate ~~relationships~~ whatever I’ve found myself in during the last 18 months while still married to someone else. None of that compares to the real battle I’ve been in for the last 10-12 years.

I have been fighting depression since I was in high school. I don’t really remember when it started or how I realized there was a problem. I do recall being angry and sad during my teens. I remember spending months and months thinking about and planning my suicide. I remember the night that I planned to do it. I sat in my room with the pills on my dresser and I just stared at them. I stared for a long time and then I made a phone call. That call saved my life. Well actually I’m not so sure that it did.

When I was a child, like 4, I gave my life to Christ! I was a passionate believer. I remember talking to God a lot when I was little. I always wanted to be involved in church and anything related to God or Jesus. Great things were prophesied over me. I remember that I used to see things when I was little. One night I had a dream where my dad was dressed in all white and he was dancing. There was another daddy dressed in red and he was dancing and there seemed to be this battle going on. I was too young to realize then but God was showing me the battle for my daddy’s soul.

I’ve been in that same battle since my teens. I have shared a bit of my testimony before so I won’t go into details but let’s just say that I lost my way. I lost my purpose, my passion and I lost my identity in Christ. Without those things I was a sitting duck and Satan was geared up for the hunt. And for the last 12 years he’s been nailing me with bullets. I have been slowly bleeding out as I wandered through the wilderness on my own.

Stay tuned next Tuesday for the next installment of this story . . .

This post is linked up at:
Testimony Tuesday {Come see a man}

Mission of the Month: January 2012

2012-01-01T19:52:00.000-05:00

For most of 2011 I didn’t complete my mission(s) each month. No matter how little or much I planned I just couldn’t get it done. There was a lot that went on last year in my life and I am surprised that I still here, intact and sane. For December my goal was very simple: REST. And I am proud to say that I finally can post this:

I took the time to rest and relax last month. It was much needed and enjoyed. And the most amazing thing happened while I was resting . . . I got a lot of stuff done. I read 8 books last month (even found a few new favorite authors), I managed to plan and print and organize the rest of the homeschool year, and I got this quarter’s Sunday School lessons planned and organized. I even got started on my work for my second semester of graduate school.

I should rest more often I get so much more done that way !

For this month I’m focusing on creating some order to our busy days. I am going to read through Tell Your Time and create a schedule for myself and the boys. I’m also starting the Winter Bible in 90 days challenge. I didn’t do so well the last time but I’m ready to get going this time. I also want to read Sheparding a Child’s Heart. And also continue to rest as much as possible!

How about you? How’d you do with your mission?? Any new missions for this month?? Head on over to Mama Jenn and join in the fun!

Christmas Break

2011-12-24T00:00:00.000-05:00

I’m taking a little break from the site to enjoy some time with my boys! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!

Softly and Tenderly by Sara Evans {book review}

2011-12-23T00:24:00.001-05:00

From Booksneeze:

Maybe out there in the country she could catch her breath, learn to breathe again.

Happily married and owner of two successful boutiques, Jade longs to begin a family with her husband, Max. But when she discovers that Max has an illegitimate son—who he wants her to help raise—Jade’s life is turned upside down.

She flees to her childhood home, a rambling Iowa farmhouse, with enough room to breathe. There—while her mother’s health grows fragile, and the tug of her first love grows stronger—Jade begins to question everything she thought she knew about family, love, and motherhood. In the wide-open landscape, Jade begins to see a future that doesn’t rest on the power of her past but in the goodness of God's tender mercies.

It took me a week to get to this book because I wanted to read the first in the series before I jumped into this one. Once I got into this book I was hooked. I LOVED the story of Jade and her journey along with the story of her family. I could identify with so many of the themes and experiences from several characters in the book.

The writing is superb. I felt like I was transported into the pages of the story as it unfolded. The voices of the characters rang true to my ears and heart. Life isn’t always easy and this story is a true reflection of that.

This series is fantastic. I love Sara Evans as a country artist and now I can say that I love her as an author as well. I can’t wait to get my hands on the third and final book in this series!

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze®.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.

Letter W {watermelon}

2011-12-23T00:00:00.000-05:00

Chubba is 38 months old

I wasn’t planning on more preschool work this week, but when I pulled out big brother’s work Chubba just had to do something as well. So here’s our second Tot School post of the week (and last for the year).

Chubba is doing really well with his math activities. Here he had to put the clothes pin on the matching slice of watermelon.

He’s getting better at the patterns as well!

This week he got a little carried away with the dot a dot markers

Magnet pages continue to be a favorite

Did this puzzle in under a minute

Matching colors to the words (not sure what he was singing here)

He did this so fast I almost didn’t get a picture

I’m so pleased that he is doing so well with cutting. I may have to pull out a cutting book for him to work on too!

Playdough mat

Tracing pages. Trying to get him to start tracing his lines at the top of the page. Isn’t working yet though.

We love a good show

2011-12-22T00:00:00.000-05:00

We LOVE shows! One of my favorite things to do with my boys is to go see a play, musical, dance anything. This past month we have seen a bunch of stuff, including Bubba’s holiday recital!

The first show was Sesame Street Live: Elmo’s Superheroes. It was a great show {as always} and was about how to keep your body health. Went great with our unit on the human body.

I have no idea why Bubba looks like this . . .

His attitude improved greatly by the time the show started

Not from a show but I just had to share this shot of my boys

We went to see the nutcracker {a first for all of us}

My little dancing boy in his costume. This is his third year of dance and he is doing such a great job! And now his little brother wants to join in on the fun too.

Our last show was a Laurie Bernker Concert {we had a blast}

This post is linked up at the MOB Society for Let’s hear it for the boys!

MFW K: Water

2011-12-21T11:38:00.000-05:00

I decided to add one last unit before the new year. I knew this would be a short unit because I couldn’t find a lapbook to go along with it.

Just for fun we made some snow (living in FL my boys have never seen it before)

Bubba played with some farm animals

This post is linked to Homeschool Highlights in MFW at 2 ladybugs and a lizard

Letter J {for Jesus}

2011-12-21T11:19:00.000-05:00

Chubba is 38 months old

This week we worked on J is for Jesus. Chubba was so excited about this unit. Anything with Jesus in it he is all over. I love it!

Working on the magnet page. It as very cute to watch how careful he was about the colors he used.

He is getting really good with these patterns

Dot to Dot page is always a hit around here {he started off with his left hand but quickly switched back to his right}

I timed him for this puzzle. Just under 2 minutes!

Lacing around the baby Jesus

Cutting is going much better now that he has a new set of scissors. He did this age all on his own, and even remembered to turn the paper instead of his hand.

Matching colors to the words

Number cards: Counting stars of Bethlehem

We actually enjoyed sorting today

Tracing practice. I have no idea why my righty has a hook

Sorting our Js

Playdough mats with some homemade playdough that I made

Surprised by Life {book review}

2011-12-21T00:00:00.000-05:00

“Have you ever been totally surprised by life? I mean knocked down, bowled over, totally out of leftfield surprised by life? If you haven't yet, just give it time.”

Brooke’s new book talks about how to handle the surprises of life. I have had a few surprises myself in the last few years: marriage, separation, impending divorce, 2 surprise pregnancies, and the death of my father to name a few. If I’m completely honest I did not handle most of these surprises well.

In her new e-book, Brooke walks through Luke 1:36-48 and uses Mary’s response to the news of motherhood to help us examine our lives and how we responded to the stress of life. This is a short book. It’s a quick read but a thought provoking one. I found myself praying, nodding and actually in tears while reading it. It was a blessing to my soul and heart.

I encourage you all to get a copy of this book and find a few minutes to read through it. It will bless you immensely.

This e-book is released today. To get your copy head on over to A Life in Need of Change and subscribe to the newsletter!

Hope for the Weary Mom {book review}

2011-12-20T00:00:00.000-05:00

Last month Brooke from MOB Society and Stacey from MOD Squad teamed up with a series called “Hope for the Weary Mom”. The series was awesome. It was real, honest and encouraging. These lovely ladies have turned those posts into this e-book.

In addition to the posts are questions to help you go deeper with each post. Questions to discuss with a group of encouraging women. There’s also scriptures in the back that encourage you in those weary and hopeless moments.

My favorite thing about the ebook is the manifesto:

“I believe that God’s plans for me are good. Therefore, I commit
today that I will never give up on my family, and I will never give up
on God’s ability to move in their hearts. With His help, I will take
the next step of faith even when I feel I can’t, because He is the God
of miracles.”

Does that speak hope and love to your heart?? Are you ready to throw in the towel?? I’m right there with you on both accounts. And you need to get this book.

There are two ways to get this book: subscribe by email to either MOB Society or MOD Squad or get it on Amazon!

MFW K: Octopus

2011-12-19T16:53:00.000-05:00

Octopus this week was fun! For some reason Bubba was really excited about this unit as well. I love how excited he gets about learning something new!

For some reason he didn’t feel like cutting this out this week

The upside-down octopus

1. Octopus 2. Otter 3. Olive 4. Oval

Our books for the week

We worked on a lapbook based on the book Nico’s Octopus

This post is linked to Homeschool Highlights in MFW at 2 ladybugs and a lizard

Laura Numeroff Book Bash

2011-12-19T06:49:00.000-05:00

One of our favorite places to go during the week is the library. We are fortunate to have a library with excellent children’s programs and family stuff that are always free and fun! Last weekend they had a book bash for Laura Numeroff (the author of books like If You Give a Mouse a Cookie). The boys had a blast:

Throwing snowballs through the holes of a castle

Making puppets and putting on a puppet show

Bingo!

Pin the shoes on the puppy:

Pin the swimsuit on the cat:

Huge board game with human peices

Pass the Cookie (kinda like hot potato)

Our fun day {playing hooky}

2011-12-17T06:31:00.000-05:00

One of the best things about homeschooling is being able to take a day off whenever the mood strikes.

My boys LOVE to be outside (what boy doesn’t). And if I’m truly honest I love it too. I’m not an outdoor girl by any means but there’s something about the fresh air and sunshine that calms me down and relaxes me. We have had some beautiful weather lately and this particular morning I declared it a no school day. We packed some lunch and headed to the park.

Chubba instantly ran to the swings

I set up our picnic area over near a tree where I sat and read a book.

There was some soccer playing

Lunch

Snack for mommy

And thanks to my phone we were jamming to Laurie Berkner. Bubba on the drums and Chubba on the horn.

Umm I have no idea!

We had to make a pit stop to potty and decided to hang out at the museum for a while

Wall of sound, every button make a different noise

Getting to see what sound waves look like

Tee time!

Quick boat ride

Dancing machines

A few pizzas before we headed home

This post is linked up to Moments to Remember over at Homeschool Creations.

Letter D {for Dinosaur}

2011-12-16T16:59:00.000-05:00

Chubba is 38 months old

We had a lot of fun with this week. We tagged along with Bubba on a craft this week making dinosaurs from a paper bag and newspaper.

We used some printables from a dinosaur unit from 2 Teaching Mommies

Magnet Page from Making Learning Fun

Matching things to their shadows

Patterns from Letter of the Week

Lots of lacing cards

The dreaded size sorting train of dinos!

Kept is short for this unit and spent a lot of time reading about dinosaurs. We read Dinosaurs of Eden and What Really Happened to the Dinosaurs?

MFW K: Dinosaurs

2011-12-16T16:49:00.001-05:00

This was a fun week learning about Dinosaurs, right up my big guy’s alley!

This T-rex has a tummy full of baby dino eggs

We had a lot of fun working on this dinosaur. It’s just a paper bag stuffed with newspaper but I think it was the highlight of the week.

Worked on a few things from the dinosaur unit from 2 Teaching Mommies

Another pattern worksheet (can’t remember where I got it from)

And of course what week wouldn’t be complete without a lapbook!

We spent a lot of time this week talking about dinosaurs and the Bible. We believe that the world is only a few thousand years old and that dinos and man walked the earth together. Some of our favorite books this week were What Really Happened to the Dinosuars and Dinosaurs of Eden.

This post is linked to Homeschool Highlights in MFW at 2 ladybugs and a lizard

Just a touch {Luke 6}

2011-12-11T23:43:00.000-05:00

I’m reading through the gospel of Luke this month with Amy over at Moms Tool Box. Here’s some thought from my reading:

Scripture: Luke 6: 19

and the people all tried to touch him, because power was coming form him and healing them all

Observation: It only takes a touch to be healed by Jesus

Application: I need to learn to reach out and touch Jesus when I need to be healed and delivered. It really is that simple.

Prayer: Lord please help me to remember how assessible you are to me. When I am in need help me to reach towards the thrown of grace.

If you will . . . {Luke 5}

2011-12-11T22:34:00.001-05:00

I’m reading through the gospel of Luke this month with Amy over at Moms Tool Box. Here’s some thought from my reading:

Scripture: Luke 5:12

While Jesus was in one of the towns, a man came along who was covered with leprosy. When he saw Jesus he fell with his face to the ground and begged him, “Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean.”

Observation: The man makes a point to say “if you are willing”.

Application: I need to include “if you’re willing” in my prayers. I’m sure some of the things that I’m asking for are not things that are within the will of God. My prayers need a change, if they are in line with the will of the Lord then and only then will they be answered.

Prayer: Lord, if you are willing, you can set me free from my circumstances. And if you are not willing then I trust that you know best. Increase my faith Lord and help my unbelief.

He’ll be back {Luke 4}

2011-12-10T22:22:00.002-05:00

I’m reading through the gospel of Luke this month with Amy over at Moms Tool Box. Here’s some thought from my reading:

Scripture: Luke 4:13

When the devil had finished all this tempting, he left him until an opportune time

Observation: Satan left but he came back.

Application: I need to always be on my guard. Just because it seems that Satan has left me alone for a spell does not mean that he’s gone for good. If he waited for a time to come back and tempt Jesus after failing so miserably I’m not so special that he’s not coming back for me.

Prayer: Lord please help me to stand firm on your Word just as Jesus did when he was tempted by Satan. Help me to trust fully in you only so that I will not fall into the traps of temptation that Satan sets for me.

Letter B {and the human body}

2011-12-09T00:58:00.001-05:00

Chubba is 38 months old

This was the letter B and butterflies:

Chubba also tagged along with Bubba doing a unit on the human body.

Two favorite books this week were the Magic School Bus (and the movie too) and Scholastic First Discovery The Human Body. I also including sexuality as well. I used two books for these talks: The True Story of How Babies are Made and The Story of Me (part of God’s Design for Sex series).

We worked on a pre-k human body lapbook

My favorite part of the week was the dancing:

Hokey Pokey

Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes

MFW K: Us

2011-12-09T00:28:00.002-05:00

The week started off with business as usual as Bubba worked through his worksheets.

1. Umbrella 2. Umpire 3. Under (the mouse is under the elephant) 4. Undress

I LOVED this sheet this week. “God made me special so I can read.”

This week we did a unit study on the human body along with the “Us” activities with My Father’s World. I also included sexuality as part of our discussions. Bubba knows all about how babies are made and born {he asked when Chubba was in my stomach} but I still to sit down with him and continue the conversation from time to time. I use two books for these talks: The True Story of How Babies are Made and Before I was Born (part of God’s Design for Sex series).

We used a lot of books this week. Two favorites were the Magic School Bus (and the movie too) and Scholastic First Discovery The Human Body

We did a Human Body lapbook

Bubba really enjoyed coloring his small and large intestaments, LOL

Bubba had a lot of fun learning about the bones. He kept thanking each one for helping his body not be mush.

My silly one while we were measuring the different body parts

This post is linked to Homeschool Highlights in MFW at 2 ladybugs and a lizard

Bragging on My Boy

2011-12-08T01:16:00.001-05:00

I’m going to brag on my wonderful first born for just a moment today. This a is a picture of him with my bible. Bubba is a very inquisitive child and he asks me the most questions about God and the bible. I believe he was looking at the book of Revelation. He wanted to know what the last book of the bible was and if I’d read it. Truth is I have not.

My son wants to learn to read so that he can read the Bible on his own one day. He loves Jesus with his whole being. Loves hearing the different stories in the bible and can recall details like you wouldn’t believe. He’s also a little prayer warrior. The child blows me away with his prayers and understanding of the Bible some times.

And he loves to praise God as well. During praise service at church a few weeks ago we were having testimony service. At one point I noticed that he kept standing. I asked him why and he said that he wanted to know if kids could talk too. That morning Chris led the congregation in “Jesus Loves Me” what an important message for us all to learn.

And he is such an encourager as well. Most of the time he fights and argues with his little brother. But one day Chubba wouldn’t go take his nap because he was scared. I overheard Bubba tell him something that touched my heart: “You don’t have to be afraid brother. God is with you.”

He is also a silly child and keeps us all laughing most of the day. He recently lost his first tooth and I mean really lost it. It was no where to be found. I think he swallowed it with his afternoon snack that day. Ever the drama king he stood there with is hand on his hips and said “Mom! How am I supposed to eat anything if all my teeth fall out?” I laughed for a long time on that one.

This post is linked at Let’s Hear it for the Boys! at the MOB Society.

Be in the Moment {Luke 2}

2011-12-07T18:37:00.001-05:00

I’m reading through the gospel of Luke this month with Amy over at Moms Tool Box. Today the scripture was from Luke 2. Here’s some thoughts from the reading.

Scripture: Luke 2:19

But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.

Observation

Mary was taking in the moment.

Application

I get so busy sometimes that I miss those very important moments. Mary, the mother of the Messiah knew better. She treasured every moment of his birth and kept those memories and thoughts close to her heart. She may not have understood it all but she didn’t miss anything. I need to be more like that.

Prayer

Lord, help me to be in the moment with my children. I want to treasure all those things and hold them close to my heart.

Smitten By Colleen Coble, Kristin Billerbeck, Denise Hunter, & Diann Hunt

2011-12-06T21:40:00.001-05:00

FROM BOOKSNEEZE

Four friends devise a plan to turn Smitten, Vermont, into the country's premier romantic getaway-and each finds her own true love along the way.

With Smitten Lumber closing, residents wonder if their town can stay afloat. Then four friends and local business owners-Natalie, Julia, Shelby, and Reese--decide the town is worth saving. How will they do it? They'll turn Smitten into a honeymoon destination!

First I just have to say that I absolutely LOVE Denise Hunter, she is one of my favorite authors. I hadn’t heard of the other authors but I figured if Denise was a part of the project I wouldn’t be too disappointed. And the book did not disappoint me. I read it in one sitting over a few hours.

The story follows four friends, Natalie, Julia, Shelby and Reese, as they work to save their town. The ladies also find love along the way. The book is divided into 4 novellas, one for each character and author. The four stories blend together under the setting of Smitten, VT.

I loved the stories and thing I have found a few new authors to add to my reading collection. The stories of love and faith were beautiful as each women faced her fears as she found love in unexpected places. And the story of a little girls’ faith flows though the entire collection.

Sidewalk Paint

2011-12-06T13:26:00.001-05:00

We had a lot of fun with this activity so I thought I’d share! I’m so grateful to have time during the day to stop and do fun stuff like this.

Break up some sidewalk chalk into smaller pieces and put in a ziploc bag

Beat the heck out of it with a hammer until it’s powder

Add in water until it’s thick like paint

ENJOY!

This post is linked up to Moments to Remember over at Homeschool Creations.

Freedom in the Truth {Luke 1 Part 2}

2011-12-06T09:35:00.001-05:00

I’m reading through the gospel of Luke this month with Amy over at Moms Tool Box. Today the scripture was from Luke 1:39-80. Here’s some thought from that days reading.

Scripture (Luke 1:63-64):

He asked for a writing tablet, and to everyone’s astonishment he wrote, “His name is John.” Immediately his mouth was opened and his tongue was loosed, and he began to speak, praising God.

Observation:

Zechariah was unable to say a word until he spoke the Truth. When he was finally able to speak his words were praise.

Application:

I need to make sure my words are those of God’s Truth and of praise. And I need not be surprised/upset when he shuts my mouth (through loss of an opportunity) when I aim to speak anything other than what he wants me to.

Prayer:

Lord, please help me control my mouth so that it may be used for your glory. Fill me with your words and truth so that I may share it with others.

Higher Standards {Luke 1 Pt. 1}

2011-12-06T09:28:00.001-05:00

I’m reading through the gospel of Luke this month with Amy over at Moms Tool Box. Today the scripture was from Luke 1:1-38. Here’s some thought from that days reading.
Scripture (Luke 1:15)

“for he will be great in the sight of the Lord. He is never to take wine or other fermented drink, and he will be filled with the Holy Spirit even from birth.”

Observation:
John had a great calling on his life and this meant that he was to abstain from certain worldly activities.

Application:
When God calls you do something for him there may be sacrifices for you to make. Those that work for God are often held to a higher standard and must be even more vigilant to the sins of the world that could keep them from doing that important task.

Prayer:
Lord, just like John you have called me to do important work for your kingdom ever since I was a child. In the past I have fallen into the traps that Satan has laid out before me. Please walk with me and show me the things that I should avoid so that I may full fill my purpose while here on this earth.

Read through Luke in 26 days

2011-12-05T21:00:00.001-05:00

Amy over at Moms Tool Box is inviting readers to read through (and SOAP if you want) the gospel of Luke this holiday season. I've never read through any gospel before and I'm excited to read through this book as I prepare my heart for the coming of my savior. Click on the banner to get more information and join in on the fun!

When you feel like you’re failing {you may not be}

2011-12-05T00:10:00.000-05:00

Chubba is my quiet, introverted child. He’s just like his momma that way. He still talks in a way that I cannot understand, even at three. But he has his way of letting me know what he needs and wants. He is a really sweet child, my surprise baby!

There are times when I’ve felt bad for my little man. It’s hard being the youngest child of a single mom. I’m so busy keeping the house running as best I can. I’m busy with school. I’m busy getting his big brother to all his therapy appointments and activities. I worry that he falls through the cracks and doesn’t get the attention that I so desperately want to give him and that he needs.

He asks so little of my time and attention during the day. He’s happy to only get a few hugs and kisses from me during the day. He’s more laid back than his brother. Something that I so thankful for most days. I do try to make some time for just the two of us but sometimes I fail horribly. And I wonder if he notices.

You see, sometimes God’s gives you a glimpse into your child’s heart. I’ve gotten a few recently and they have blown me away. Several times in the last few weeks Chubba has run up to me with a big smile and said “You’re the best mommy in whole world!” Or he’ll run up to me and give me the biggest hug he can to tell me “I love you very much mommy.”

And then the other night at bedtime he didn’t want go to sleep. He was actually in tears at the thought {and not the kind that precede a tantrum}. I asked him what was wrong and this is what he told me:

“Mommy I have bad dreams, I don’t want to go to sleep. The bad man gets you. You hit him and push him but he gets you. And I don’t like that, not at all.

We prayed over those bad thoughts. And I told him that when those bad dreams come to say “Go away! God is with me!” And he went to bed only after I told him that he could come get in my bed if he got scared.

I had been worried that I wasn’t loving him enough. That I wasn’t doing enough for him or with him. God showed me that I was wrong. My little one loves me dearly. So much so that he can’t stand the thought of something happening to me. I must be getting something right.

When you feel like you’re getting it all wrong, take some time and notice the ways that God is showing you that you’re wrong. Pay attention to the ways that he may be showing you a small piece of your children’s heart.

Advent Season 2011

2011-12-04T00:47:00.001-05:00

Every year I try my best to do something during Advent and every year I have failed miserably. The past two years I have unsuccessfully tried to do the Jesse Tree devotions with my boys. I think that they were just too young to really get it.

This year we are going through Truth in Tinsel. {It’s not too late to get a copy and join in on the fun!} We’ve done 3 crafts so far and are loving every minute of it. My boys look forward to it and so do I. Chubba really loves Advent season because he gets to hear his name a lot during scripture readings! {I can’t tell you how often he stops me mid sentence to shout “That’s me!” while reading through the gospels} Here are a few of our crafts so far:

Day 1: Candle

Day 2: Kingdom

Day 3: Zachariah (No mouth because he can’t speak)

We are also reading through Jotham’s Journey for the first time this year. We had to play catch-up a bit this week because we didn’t start reading until Thursday {because mommy didn’t know when Advent officially started}. We love this book. I cannot wait to read the other two and the one for Easter season. The story is truly captivating and I love the scripture and message that tie into the story and our lives. I have had some really good heart conversations with Bubba after reading a chapter. And I love that Chubba falls asleep in my arms each night as we read.

I think we’ve finally hit a stride and have found what works for us! I encourage all of you to find what works for you and/or share with me how you are celebrating the birth of Jesus this season. Or the candles that stayed lit when there wasn’t enough oil.

Mission of the Month: December 2011

2011-12-03T15:36:00.001-05:00

I’m just going to cut to the chase, while I did start working on my e-book my school load was a bit overwhelming so it’s not done yet. So November gets this:

For the month of December I’m going to keep it simple. My goal this month is to rest and regroup. I literally ran myself into the ground these past few months between school and everything else, so much so that my anxiety attacks started up again.

So I’m planning to rest and relax for these next few weeks. Of course part of regrouping is going to be getting a schedule and routine in place for all our activities and my school work. I’m also working on getting more sleep, exercise and a better diet for myself to get me in better shape and hopefully nip the anxiety in the bud.

I’m also hoping to get a writing schedule for myself. I have many projects I’m working on. There’s my e-book, this blog, my posts over at Heart of the Matter and I will be contributing to Totally Tots starting in January so I need a way to manage my deadlines.

Here’s hoping your month is as restful as mine needs to be!

MFW K: Turtles

2011-11-25T05:30:00.003-05:00

As usual Bubba breezed through is MFW work:

1. Tiger 2. toothpaste 3. turkey 4. tomatoes

We read the Tortoise and the Hare this week to talk about perseverance. I had Bubba pretend to be each animal and almost didn’t catch him as the hare!

We started working on telling time this week, it was lots of fun.

Apparently there are words written in the ceiling, lol. He also either looks at me or the wall when reading the words, no matter how many times I tell him to look at the word itself.

We worked on counting pennies this week. And it was a lot of fun pretending to sell soup.

This week we made our first lapbook! I used one from Homeschool Share.

We had so much fun this week making the turtle lapbook! I was so surprised at how much Bubba learned and remembered. We will definitely be doing more of these!

This post is linked to Homeschool Highlights in MFW at Discover Their Gifts

Letter K

2011-11-25T05:00:00.000-05:00

Chubba is 37 months old

We were going to do the letter B this week but Chubba really wanted to do kites so K it is!

He LOVED this shape card, he asked for it over and over again

He was not too happy about counting bows for the kites this week

Loved cutting though and see that look on his face?? ?He meant business

He had fun gluing the kites together

Not sure these would fly but I think they’re cute!

We did great with patterns this week. I had to go a bit slow and repeat the pattern but he got it!

Sorting upper and lower case letters was a bit tricky this week but he did a great job

We had all the letters we needed this week

He didn’t want to this this activity, he just wanted to make a choo choo train

He got a little carried away with the dots!

We did do the Totally Tots letter craft but I don’t have any pictures to share.

Book Review: Truth in the Tinsel

2011-11-25T00:04:00.003-05:00

I am so excited about this new e-book from Amanda called Truth in the Tinsel. Amanda is the momma at Impress Your Kids where you can find fun crafts and other activities to do with your little ones. Truth in the Tinsel is more of the fun stuff you can find on the blog but with a focus on the Advent Season.

I was so excited to read through the activities in this e-book. I have been trying to figure out what I’d do with my boys for Advent this year. The past few years we have tried (and failed) the Jesse Tree. It was just too much to get together and my boys aren’t really old enough for it yet, they were often bored. I thought about getting a Christmas devotional to go through with them until I heard about this e-book.

Truth in the Tinsel is full of fun crafts, activities and scriptures to work on with your child through out the advent season. Each day there’s a clue, scripture, ornament, and “the talk” that all tie into a theme for the day that helps to tell the Christmas story. These activities should take about 30 minutes a day (or more if you want) and are very easy to prep, do and discuss with your kids.

Amanda has included a complete list of supplies. And they are mostly cheap craft things and stuff you probably already have in your home. She even lists out day by day what supplies are needed. There are also templates for some of the ornaments. And if you don’t have time to do an activity each night there are alternate schedules available for weekly activities that focus on the basics of the advent season, specific books of the Bible, main characters, or prophecies.

Truth in Tinsel goes on sale Today, Black Friday. Today only the price is $2.99. The regular price is only $4.99.

Amanda is also hosting an accompanying challenge with the e-book to Impress Your Kids and "give" your kids the first 24 days of December by doing the book together & joining the Truth in the Tinsel Facebook page. I’ll be joining in and hope to see some of you over there too.

$600 Vision Forum Giveaway

2011-11-23T13:59:00.001-05:00

Connie over at Smockity Frocks is hosting a huge giveaway over on her blog for Vision Forum. Vision Forum is a Christian publishing company and ministry dedicated to rebuilding the biblical family. The site is a fantastic resource for Christian products including Christian books, DVDs, audio and other products for character building and bible study.

The giveaway includes a $100, $200 and $300 gift certificate for anything at Vision Forum. I just recently purchased a Tea with Michelle Duggar dvd from them and have my eye on some Jonathan Park products for my boys.

Head on over and enter the giveaway. The winner will be announced on December 3rd so hurry and enter!

EDITED TO ADD:
There are other blogs hosting this giveaway. For more chances to win check out:
A Wise Woman Builds Her Home
The Modest Mom
In a Shoe
Raising Olives
Generation Cedar

MFW K: Nest {and birds}

2011-11-18T05:30:00.000-05:00

It was so nice to get back to school after a 3 week break! And we got a dinning room table which has made school a little more comfortable. Bubba was complaining of boredom with his MFW lessons which he was completing in about 2 days so I started looking for ways to add to the week’s lessons. This week I added some pages from Homeschool Creations’ Bird Preschool pack.

Bubba is able to do all of his MFW sheets on his own. So I let him do those sheets at the dining room table while I work with his little brother. By the time he’s done I’m read to work with him on a few one-on-projects.

For some reason he kept writing his Ns backwards this week.

Playdough was a bit hit this week for some reason. Bubba wanted to spell out words for me.

Did some HWT practice and finally got back to writing N the correct way

Drawing page: (1)Numbers, (2) Nails (in a toolbox), (3) Newspaper, and (4) a nectarine

We started ~~playing~~ learning about money this week with Saxon Math.

We are really enjoying this sheets from Mama Jenn.

Some ETC practice

Here are some of the pages from the Bird preschool pack.

This is an ABC order sheet from Making Learning Fun

Bird color by number

Magnet page: B is for Blackbird (I burnt myself making pom pom magnets for this but I was worth it!)

This post is linked to Homeschool Highlights in MFW at 2 ladybugs and a lizard

Letter U

2011-11-18T05:00:00.000-05:00

Chubba is 37 months old

We have been on a bit of a break from school for the past three weeks. This week things were back to business!

Chubba had fun hopping on the number mats (although he wasn’t so excited about having his picture taken)

Dot a Dot pages are still a big hit

This week Chubba started cutting more on his own. He’s doing much better with the scissors although I think he may need a new pair.

Playdough mats are a must! He actually kept asking for more playdough throughout the week.

Lacing cards are serious business for this little man

Some sorting practice

(colors)

Upper and lower case letters

Magnet pages are a most too

Shape matching, new for him but he did quite well

He’s still struggling a bit with patterns but we’ll keep working on it till we get it!

We have been using our right hand exclusively for the past 6 weeks so it’s official, he’s a righty!

Our verse from RRSP.

Fun with glue

We didn’t have enough letters today for umbrella so Bubba pretended to be the missing L

Fun with puzzles

He struggled a bit getting the cards in order from biggest to smallest this week. Not sure why.

We had lots of fun counting raindrops and matching numbers

We (I mean mommy) finally got around to the letter crafts from Totally Tots. This week it was an umbrella.

We’ll be hanging our completed projects on our Chicka Chicka Boom Boom tree!

The God in Me?

2011-11-16T00:28:00.001-05:00

My boys and I love this song and it goes so well with what I wanted to say today.

This week as I did my reading and SOAP notes for my Good Morning Girls study I was really struck by this question: How am I representing God? 1 John 7:7-12 tells us that we are to love each other because that love is how people will see or experience God here on Earth.

First I thought about my children. Do they see God in me when we are together. Am I showing them grace, love and mercy? Am I being loving, patient and kind? Most of the times I think yes I’m showing them an accurate portrayal of who our Heavenly Father is, but there are times when I am not. I lose my temper, I’m hurtful and just down right grumpy.

Then I thought about at school. Do my classmates know that I’m a Christian. Am I showing them love through Christ in class and in conversations?? Nope. And what about the people that we don’t think of as being opportunities for testimonies?? The cashier at the grocery store, the random young man that holds the door for you or even that person that cuts you off on the interstate.

Or how about that person that hurt you so deeply. That person that won’t act the way you want them. They don’t hold up their end of an assignment or job. They don’t take an interest in their family. Or worse that person that walked out on you and never looked back. What about those people.

I’m going to be honest and say that I’m sure there are times where my life is not reflecting the love and message of God like I want it to. Yes there are moments when someone asks how I manage to make it with all that’s on my plate and I say “with the grace of God.” Most often I think there are times when I just miss or lose the opportunity to share my God with the world.

I’m going to do better. And no that doesn’t mean I’m going to start chasing people down with my Bible. But I am going to be more intentional about my choices and actions. I want to make sure that my God looks good. I want people to be able to see the God in me.

All is not as it seems

2011-11-13T23:12:00.001-05:00

There have been some BIG things going on in my life these past few months. I’m on the verge of coming out of a very dark place that I’ve been in for a few years. It’s refreshing and exciting and I cannot wait for the day when I can share some of it with you all. It’s been a really rough ride for me and honestly many people have absolutely no idea.

As I often point out here on my blog I am a recovering perfectionist. It’s a skill that I have honed for many years. It’s a skill that most children of alcoholics master at some point. I was raised to not talk about the things going on in my home with anyone. Over the years I internalized that and never talked to anyone about anything. And this is easy to do when you are surrounded by people that are too busy with their own stuff to take the time to hear about yours. I was a victim of the “you’re too young to have problems” point of view. And I suffered for it.

In my youth when the pain and stress of life became too much I would ignore it. I would become a different person: drinking, flirting, at times falling into bed with people. This would also lead to the guilt and shame and insomnia and anxiety. Most of those things have fallen away. Some only in the last few months. But the one thing that remains is the anxiety.

I manage to keep it together during the day. But as night falls and I put my boys to bed my anxiety level rises. It’s almost impossible to concentrate, relax to do anything. Lately I find myself on the couch paralyzed and I start to pray. I start to talk to God, laying all my stresses at his feet. The longer I talk to Him the calmer I feel until finally I fall asleep.

I wake thirty minutes later and when I try to get work done the anxiety starts to creep up again. The more I try to work the more anxious I begin to feel. I continue to pray and it doesn’t seem to work this time. I’m exhausted and frustrated and just want some peace. I start thinking that maybe it’s time to get some medical attention for this problem.

In the end, I decide to push through. And the more I try to work the more the anxiety comes but soon I reach a point where I feel find I’m able to do a little work and get some much needed rest. And this same cycle repeats for weeks every night. But the fight gets shorter and shorter as I begin to trust that God is with me and will cover me with his peace. Even as I type this post my anxiety is trying to get the better of me. But you wouldn’t know it by looking at me.

This week a blog friend had to take her 11 year old son to the hospital battling depression. She didn’t ask me to do this but I’m asking that my readers lift up this young man and his family in prayer. The devil wants nothing more than to take the minds of our young men. He wants to destroy the kingdom of God and what better way to do this than to attack the future spiritual leaders and heads of families.

I know what it’s like to be under a constant attack of the enemy. I know how it feels when those voices lie to you about who you are and what you were created to do. I hear them every time I sink into depression and anxiety. But greater is He that is in me that he that is in the world. I shall live and not die!

I find in my own life, like right now, that right when I’m on the brink of a breakthrough or elevation in God that my anxiety flares up. I don’t know what purpose God has for this young man’s life but I know that it has to be a wonderful work for Satan to attack so hard. So please pray for this young man and for so many others whose minds are being attacked by the devil.